For nearly two thirds of my life, I’ve been an Amy fan.  Those of us who have been enjoying the music of Ms. Grant since the days of “My Father’s Eyes” always seem to refer to her as just ”Amy”.   When I heard that she had written a memoir, I was excited to be the first to reserve the copy that our library had on order.  I don’t think I am alone in feeling a certain connection, a kinship with Amy.   Through the years, I’ve sometimes felt the need to defend her from those who would criticize and to protect her from those who could be cruel.  Mostly, though, I’ve admired her as a gifted songwriter.  

As the title suggests, there are pieces of Amy’s life scattered throughout the pages of “Mosaic…”.  Many times it seems as if she’s written the middle of a story and the reader is left to wonder what happened before and after the event.  There’s almost the feeling of someone deep in thought, occasionally vocalizing some of what she’s thinking but keeping the rest inside.  I couldn’t help but feel frustrated.  Even the photos at the beginning of each chapter are so small that I felt as if maybe she didn’t really want us to see them.  

Is there some twisted, voyeuristic part of my personality that wants the E! True Hollywood Story?  I pray that’s not the case.  Amy Grant and I were born just a year apart, Southern girls each raised in a family of four daughters.  We’ve both been divorced, we’ve been single mothers to three children and we are building new lives with new husbands.   I wonder if she is surprised at times to find that her first marriage failed.  Does her heart ache when she sees her children suffer the inevitable pain that comes from their parents’ separation?  Are her sisters her best friends?  Is it difficult for her to realize that her parents are growing old?   I realize that I am in no way entitled to this information, but I just wanted to know more.  There is no denying that the book is eloquently written.  The words are beautifully crafted but somehow they lacked the depth and warmth I’d expected.  There are bits and pieces but the mosaic seems incomplete. 

Am I canceling my membership in the Amy Grant Fan Club?  Okay….so technically I have no such membership….but if I did, it would still remain valid.  I’ll always be an Amy fan.  I was just wishing to be a fan with a little more insight.

 An afterthought - I think of Mary, mother of Jesus, “pondering all of these things and keeping them in her heart” and understand that there are pieces of Amy’s life that she just cannot share.  Like all of us, she’s keeping those things in her heart where the Lord will keep them safe.